bencurthoys

when i was a child, i used to wish that i could be hypnotised before i went to school.

that way, hypnozombie ben would be able to do all the schoolwork, concetrate hard, remember everything - and i wouldn't feel a thing! at the end of the day, snap. i'd be back to myself, ready to enjoy children's tv and jam on toast amd a glass of milk, but with no recollection of the horrors of the school day - only the benefits.

i realised the other day that i had got my wish. half of it, anyway. when i get up in the morning to go to work, i'm not awake. i'm in a mild hypnotic trance, in a state of suggestibilty, that lasts through the day and numbs me to the pain - the pain i last experienced fully as a child. the half i didn't get was the part where i snap wake up at the end of the day when i get home, ready to enjoy the fun stuff and the rewards of working. instead i remain in my semi-hypnotic trance, staring into the bright computer screen and fuzzing my attention with booze.

i want to wake up.



but if i do, will i be able to bear the commute, the blank hour underground, the cramped offices, the stupid clients and pointless drudge*? will i have to run off and join the hippies? if i do, how will i pull other people out of the matrix, so that i have someone to talk to?

* if you were thinking of replying to the job ad i just posted today, please ignore this part. really, it's not so bad. honest.